Goodnight

Sweet dreams.

Zzzzz...

Ugh. Its four in the morning and I can't sleep. I woke up at 3:30 and had to use the bathroom like any other normal human being, but I can't fall back to sleep. Its weird tho because every time I try to fall back asleep I get jolted back awake. My body will tingle and its like my brain will panic as if there's something wrong. I think its time for an ativan. Ugh. I hate feeling crazy. :(

Everyday

Everyday feels the same when I'm at work. Only when I get my gremlin does it become interesting.

Sad face

My gremlin is sickie. Her cough sounds horrid. I think it sounds like pnemonia. I'm calling her dr tomorrow in the morning to get her in. She needs some antibiotics asap. She seems to get sick a lot. At least this year its been a few times. Maybe its the weather. I hope its nothing that I'm doing. I bundle her up when we go outside and stuff. Hmm. I dunno. I feel terrible when she's sick tho. Her little cough sounds so desperate. It wakes her up and keeps her up. And her poor little nostrils leak to no end. She's learning how to blow her nose tho instead of letting it drip onto her lips. Ew. She's new at this. I'm new at this. I just feel really horrible when she's sick cuz it feels like I'm not doing everything I can but there's not a whole lot I can do other than keep an eye on her and give her hugs and kisses and hope that it goes away. Makes me sad to see her like that. Even if it just a cold or whatever. Mommyhood has a lot of complex experiences that are hard to explain unless you've gone through it. Things are making more and more sense.

Lol

Newborn Rhea

Delana had her baby this morning at 7 am. Rhea Lorelei Buntin. Weighed 7 lbs 11 ounces and is as cute as can be with her soft skinned little tiny scrunged in face and closed eyelids. The world, too bright to focus on anything. Her head turns as different voices drift here and there. I held her cradled in my arms. I felt her little body stretching, saw and heard an adorable litte Rhea yawn. One moment at a time. Brand new to this world. I'm so priviledged to have met such a gorgeous, innocent and inspiring individual.

Snifffff

I absolutely love the smell of freshly washed, dryer sheet smell enhanced sheets, blankets, and pillow cases. I'm thankful I can experience that.

Due

Blog was way over due. Too much has happened between the last one and this one to even try to sum it up. Things are going okay. Amiah is doing great. Ill post pictures soon. That's something that I've been neglecting. I haven't been taking them as often either. Too much stress going on at work. I will make time now though. Make memories not excuses, right? I can't write a whole lot here cuz I have to get to sleep but now that I've jotted down a little bit, it'll give me reason to continue. Not that I really needed a reason anyways. Anyhow. Fake it til you make it.