Funeral homes...

Every time I've ever been in a funeral home, I've wanted to explore and go into the basement, "My Girl" style.

Today I need all the help I can to remain stable so I don't rip someones head off. I swear to fucking god I hate my job sometimes.

Liike thatt one day

Don't mind my keyboard (tyypo diisclaimer).

I feel the same way as I ddid that night I found out about grandmommy. Awful news blindssidded by it. Both grrandmas. In ffaact all 3 now aren't doing good. My eyes hurt and my nose is. Clogged. Ii can do nothing to save the ineviitable whiich only  confiirms my helpplessness. I hate when I ddont have control over my feelings. 

6 months ago...

Firstt id like to apologize in advance for my phones keybboard. It multiplies letters. Andd adds perioodds for no reason andd I ddont feel like.  Correcting it. I tthink it addds character.

6 months ago I was in a different place. It was worst case scenariio and someething had to bee done. Nnothing in this world iis worthh losing family, significant others, or gremlins over and I'm thankfuul that I had the support andd courage to goo tto batttle. I'm continuouuslu obtaining viictory and  proud of it.

Most people won't know and the ones that do won't always underrstand but I know that what I've done will be forever life. Changing and I will always appreciate the chances that I was given to riight the wrongs.

I've survivvvedd another day andd noww it makes me happy.

~ Jen

One a dem thangs

One of my favorite things to do is sleep with a Gremlin blankie.

Yup some bs

It sometimes feels like life is passing me by. Makes me wonder if the decisions I make apply. This game we play that no one wins.  This game that ends but never begins. So sweet. So sour. All undetermined with no power. Blah blah. All made up. Blah blah all corrupt. Lol

Cricket cricket

Its 11pm and I just wrote a paper for my business ethics class. I'm sleepy and I hope Amiah sleeps past 6. Lol. I can wish. I started packing and it def took a lot longer than I thought. (Shursh Ramon) lol. We are going thru stuff as we pack and we've lived here going on 7 years almost so you can imagine how its gonna go. I'm making a commitment of at the least 45 min a day every single day til we move and hopefully that will work cuz I have full time work and school too. Mymy likes to help. :) ok. Def time for bed!

Minion stickers!

I asked the McDonalds drive thru person if I could have a minion sticker and they gave me several. Gremlin put them on her arms. Lol

Yep

At work.
Last day of the week.
Needing a nap.
So hard to sneak.

Get off work soon.
Time for the weekend.
Schools almost over
Straight As to defend

Missing my gremlin.
Her kisses and hugs
Even her mean little
Eyebrow mugs.

Time to smile.
Time to relax
Time for cookies
Grem and I will max.

Lol

Mittens and hat

She wanted to be an artist with her own style!

Yup

Aaaand she's a coooool cat

Grandma's socks that rock dolls

Looks its a family!

Time for bed...

For some reason lately I haven't been able to sleep good at all. Either I can't fall asleep or I can't stay asleep. I feel like my insomnia is coming back. I just don't have a reason now. I don't work third shift anymore. Lol. Maybe its stress. Its been really super stressful at work lately and then combine that with my classes minus sleep = stress which equals more stress.

Its hard to keep up with everything. I'm thankful that I have an amazing fiance that helps out in any way and a beautiful daughter that helps me remember why I'm doing it. Life really is good. I have some hurdles but it'd be weird if there weren't any. Maybe too easy?

Mymy saw Grandma today. We visited her at her house. I gave her her birthday socks that rock doll. She liked it. Mymy had fun too. She likes it over there. New things to look at. Wish she was over there more.

Ok world. Good night sleep tight. Please don't let this take forever.

Not enough snow!

So I've only been waking up for the past 3.5 hours and was rather disappointed to see the amount of snow. Doesn't seem like a lot. I know I know, this is coming from the person that feels as though 40 degrees is below zero. But I was looking forward to it, believe it or now. :(

We r going to hopefully go sledding today. Its been years and years. Oh yeah and I got my engagement ring refinished. Its so shiny and beautiful.

Soo...tired....I think I fell asleep at 1 or a lil after. If I can't go back to sleep ill probably do some homework.  Meh.

:: YaWn ::

Man. I'm having a really hard time sleeping. Just thought id hop on here and ramble for a couple minutes.

I'm fighting with myself to not play with the xmas present Ramon bought me. I love it. Its a Nintendo 3DS. Its beautiful dark purple and has a touch screen on the bottom and flips open and has another lcd screen that you can make 3D. Its so impressive how good the 3d is. Its so much fun. Ramon also bought me three games with it which was super cool because they're games I knew id love. Aaaand I def do. Lol

I need to finish my taxes. I've been procrastinating on them. No particular reason as to why. I think its probably because we aren't broke lol. We've been doin good on our budget. We even got our car fixed last week. Four brand new tires, new breaks, and roters. Its a lot easier to stop now. Hahaha.

Alright. I really need to get some sleep. Gremlins been coughing lately, we think she's getting sick. Poor baby. I hope I don't get sick.

Moo.

XD

I love cupcakes and bacon and gremlin and laffy taffys and orange juice and kiwis and reeses and cans of ice cold coke and new sockies and lil pink sockies and heated blankets and tattoos and stars and the moon and cookies from mcdonalds and swimming with gremlin and much much more.

Its been that long!

Tonight...around 3 am 3 years ago my water broke sending me into 19 hours of labor and an emergency c-section. Out came the most beautiful, smart, and very loved gremlin. Every second completely worth it. I might not have said it then but would never forget it now. I can't believe its been so long already and its flown by so fast. I wouldn't have been able to do it alone that's for sure. Amiah has had the best family to help raise her and couldn't have asked for more, not to mention the best fiance ever that has been thru the worst of diapers with me.

Aaaand school has begun

I think I stayed up entirely too late trying to get a lot of reading done for the classes that started this week. Principles of management, freshman seminar, and microeconomics. Everytime I start to doze off I wake up confused and trying to remember what I've read so far. So...tired....must....sleep...longer.