On May 14th 2006 her son passed away on Mother's day. I'll never forget the day I found out. I cried and cried and couldn't believe that it was true, didn't want to believe it. I had just seen him probably hours before he passed. We were still friends at the time. I dated him prior though for a really long time. I think it was almost 4 years. It hurt so bad that he passed away and when I seen him that night, the night before he passed, I feel as though I could have prevented it from happening. I knew something wasn't right about him. I knew he didn't seem like himself. He was doing stupid things and I knew it but didn't do anything about it. I was just as bad myself. So anyhow back to the original thought.
I went to walgreens 2 nights ago and had a picture that I had of him and his mom together and I had it blown up to an 8 by 10. I bought a really pretty frame for it and I gave it to her yesterday when i drove to roscoe to her house. I gave it to her as a mother's day present. She took it and cried and hugged me and she loved it. I was so nervous about going over to her house because it had been about 3 years since I had seen her. But I knew it was something that I had to do.
We went through the numerous pictures that I had of him and we sat and cried together. She showed me where she kept his things and different pictures that she had of him through her new house. She told me that she couldn't stay at the old house because thats where everything happened. I hugged her and told her that I cant imagine how she feels because it hurts me alot and to be his mother it has to be a million times harder.
Yesterday when I woke up I felt inspired. and this was before I even went over to Becky's house. I wrote a poem.
Going a step back
For the good of a life that fell
The mistake should never have happened
as far as I can tell.
That day
Those fears
That night
Those tears
The future
that coulda been
They haunt and repeat
again and again.
Reliving the past
I've never done.
Only for this mother.
and her fallen son.
It's for the best.
I repeat in my head.
It'll help in the end.
they've always said.
Don't burn bridges.
It's always wrong
You'll never know
When they'll be gone.
So now and since then, I've carried a camera with me always. I take alot of pictures and would love to be a photographer. I take pictures of everything. We are sometimes only left with memories and pictures.
3 comments:
I am sorry that your sad, but you did the right thing to visit his Mom and share the memories and pictures.
You are right, you can't imagine her pain, but either can I. I don't even want to imagine that kind of pain.
Sometimes when people are sad all they need is a hug and a reassurance that it's okay to be sad. You wrote a beautiful poem.
I am sorry that you are sad, I know that his mom feel better after you showed her those pictures. And oh yeah taht was a really pretty poem you wrote 2. And I am always their if you need my sholder to be sad on!
Awww The Dougster, I'm sorry you were so sad woman, I do have to agree though what you did was awesome and the poem was exceptional!!
You know if you ever need to talk not only do you have Ramon but I am here, you can text, email or flag me down at work you know I'm here for you woman!
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