All I wanted to say...

My daddy called me on christmas eve.
He asked me to go to mass.
I'm not a religious person,
so I told him I would pass.

He was disappointed,
and he became upset.
He put me on a guilt trip
that I couldn't forget.

I told him I wanted to see him.
I'd come over christmas day.
I wanted to tell him I loved him,
that's all I wanted to say.

He told me not to come over.
He said he wasn't awake.
I think he was still angry,
and the story was a fake.

So here I was on christmas day.
I'd seen everyone but dad.
I'm sorry I didnt go to mass.
I'm sorry I made you mad.

My feelings are hurt.
I can't help but to sigh.
I wish it would have been different.
I wish I wouldn't cry.

Holidays are not a big deal.
It's always been this way.
I just wanted to say I love you, dad.
On this year's christmas day.

eltittitle

Sometimes I worry about things that I can't change. I wish I had magic powers to stop time and catch up with things that I've been putting off. Things are never as bad as they seem and remember that there are always people that are worst off than you. Learn to appreciate what's available and not so much with what's not. Life is too short to worry about things that will not matter in a couple years. Why bother. Love and live on. You only live once...so everyone seems to think...but who would know til its your turn. I want a second try.

Sign meeee up!

I'm cooking some fish sticks right now! I'm f'n starving. So lastnight me and Ramon just hung out and listened to music. I bought him this new video gaming chair and this thing is the coolest f'n thing ever! It plugs in and has this subwoofer and speakers through the headrest. Hang on, I'm going to find a picture of it to put on here...

Yay! So yep, that's it. It is the coolest to do anything in. I was playing guitar hero lastnight and got a 500+ note streak. Yep, I got an achievement for that one. So I bought this chair for Ramon for christmas, and I'm really glad that he likes it. It was kinda expensive but it was totally worth it.

Welp I know this blog isn't too long but I wanted to hop on here and say hi! I am watching Intervention right now. It's a great show.

She still lives...

So here I am. I haven't had a chance to get on here lately so that's why the long delay in posts. I'm cooking shells and cheese right now because I'm starving. I was going to make hamburger helper but the beef we were going to use scared me. It was in the fridge for a super long time and the use date was November 22nd... We opened it and I thought it smelled not normal so I decided to throw it away even tho Ramon promised it was still good. I get nervous about things like that. It would really suck to get sick from eating bad beef. I've had food poisoning once because I ate a breakfast sandwhich from Dunkin donuts and I was sick for like 2 days, like I had to drink pedialite to stay alive. lol. It was awful. So I just stirred the shells and cheese...almost done...

I'm so excited about this Christmas. My grandmommy remembered me and that's the coolest thing that could have happened. She sent me a christmas card with a denny's gift card in it...i wouldn't have even cared if it didn't have anything at all in it, just the fact that she sent me a christmas card at all really made my christmas this year. I miss her terribly and I'm going to call her first thing tomorrow (since my dad FINALLY emailed me her phone number). :-)

Anyhow, it's dinner time so I'ma end this. No pictures today... I need to take some more and post them soon. I'll probably take some of the foot of snow we're supposed to get and post them. They will be all prettttty.

Farewell.

and so the elves dance

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

::puts her bear mittens on::

Dude, I just got my lip pierced yesterday and it's swollen right now, it f'n hurts like crazy. I had my labret done but the back was rubbing against my gums way too much and was wearing them down. it was time to take it out. (I had it for 3 years)I feel like I'm bubba from Forest gump. lol.

::listens to the heat::

I appreciate heat in my apartment.

I appreciate having an apartment.
I appreciate having my bills paid.

I appreciate having a straw to use in my soda right now.

I appreciate being able to vent to my friend Heather about anything and share with her the monkey smuggling. lol.

I appreciate being able to laugh out loud.

I appreciate being able to laugh out loud alone and not feel stupid.

I appreciate not being lactose intolerant.

So me and Ramon's 2 year anniversary is on the 10th. I swear it was the 15th of December but he insists that it was on the 10th so I'm going with that. Ramon took me out to Texas Roadhouse...that restaraunt is phenominal. It has the best steak I've ever had in my entire life. The waitress was really nice too so I asked her if she could take this pic of me and him. It's adorable!


So cereal. lol.

::sips on her koolaid::

I wish there was different font that I could use on this Blog. It doesn't give much to choose from. I want something more interesting instead of the boring "I'm typing an essay" look.

So, I'm finishing up my second day off from work and tomorrow I go back and I train my bay to do PDA. I'm pretty excited. I think they'll learn it pretty easy, they are all pretty smart. Heather will already know everything I'm sure cuz she's owned like every PDA phone we've ever had. :-D lol. That's a good thing tho.

I'm just drinking my koolaid and playing on the computer for a lil bit. I've been playing my wii for several days now...quite a bit. I've been playing animal crossing and I also downloaded a game called "Paper Mario". It's great fun. I beat the one that was made for the Gamecube (Ramon helped) and I also played the one that came out for the wii but this one came out for the Nintendo 64. It's so fun. It's addicting. I've already put in over 7 hours into that game.

It snowed like nobody's business lastnight and some of today... there's snow covering the ground now. I took a picture of it.

I'm still sick but not too sick for the Wii...

Welp, I'm still feeling like hell but I'm still going to work and playing the Wii.I'm talking to my mom on the phone! I'm so happy I got ahold of her cuz I missed her. I love my mommy.

hiiiiiiiiiyaaahhh!!!

I have a cold...

Damn. I don't feel good. I have my box of tissues and my orange juice. Sponge Bob is on and it's the episode where Spongebob is sick and has the "suds". lol. How ironic. God, I'm sexy.lol

Mmmm breadstix...

Squish the head!!!!! lol

Finally a day off from work. I've been in PDA training so I've been having to take phone calls instead of my usual supervising from 7:30pm to 4:00 am. It's been kind of nice because I ONLY have to worry about the calls that Im taking, that and any corrective action that needs to be filled out but otherwise my best friend has been taking care of everything for me while I'm gone, she's been doing an excellent job, (thanks heather!) It's been awhile since I've had to actually "auto-in". I've been a supervisor since March so I only usually have to do an hour of inbound calls a week, but since we are converting our call center into PDA I had to go through a week and 2 days of class training and now I'm in what's called PDA-TCC, where I'm taking calls and if I have any questions or problems there's help available. So, I've been trying to make sure that I'm getting all my phone time in because I have to train my bay on December 2nd, and I want to make sure that I know it myself. I shouldn't have a problem with it tho, it's pretty easy because you just have to know how to look it up. I've always been pretty good at training things so I should be ok.

I've been playing "Animal Crossing" like non stop, it's so fun. I'm trying to build up my furniture in my house and stuff in the game so its really cool. We got the wi-fi working so it's really fun connecting to Heather and visiting her town. I gave her a couple of balloons. lol.

So, me and Ramon went to Pizza Hut cuz I was hoping that my dad was working but he wasn't. So I called him to see what he was doing and he wasn't doing anything so I wanted to go see the bunny wabbit. Unfortunetly Christy wasn't there so I couldn't say hi, I believe she was working. They have such adorable aminals. awe. Kittens and puppies and bunnies and gerbils. I love it. :-D

Miiiiiiii on the Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...

It's f'n freezing outside and it feels just the same in my house! Ramon always turns the heat down and I get so mad because it's way to cold. If it's below 72, I'm wearing my bear mittens and curled in a ball on the couch. I think it's because I was born in California and lived in Vegas and I just miss the warm weather so much. I can't stand this coldness. And as for snow. I hate the shit. The first time it snows it's really pretty, but from then on out, all I'm doing is waiting for it to melt.

The other night when Ramon and I went to walmart, it started snowing, but it was like amazing! I don't think i've ever seen such huge snowflakes...I was awed at how pretty it was. I tried to take a picture but it just isn't the same:

I've been playing this video game called "Animal Crossing" and its pretty cool. It's on the Wii.

Miss me?

I haven't had time to really get on here...but here I am! I'm talking to my mom on the phone right now! She just got a new cell phone because she lost her old one. lol. I almost didn't answer the phone either cuz I usually don't answer numbers that I don't know. It's been a habit from trying to avoid bill collectors. lol. But then I saw what time it was and it was waaaay to late for someone like that so I answered. I talked to my mom for about 35 minutes. It was nice. I love that I still have contact with my parents. They call me for no reason. Especially my dad, my dad calls me all the time too.

So, what have I been up to? I've been working different hours at work lately because I'm in PDA training. So instead of working 7:30 pm til 4:00 in the morning, I work 3:30 pm to midnight. My best friend is watching my bay for me. I couldn't have picked a better person. I didn't trust anyone else really to do it. I know she would not only do it but do it really good and I so appreciate it (Thanks Heather).

I really meant to post these pictures awhile ago but just hadn't but here's pictures from Ramon and I's Halloween trip. We went to Cambridge, Il to visit a haunted cemetery. Here's a quick overview of the story behind why this cemetery is haunted: Back in the 1900's, there was this woman that had 7 children and was married to a farmer. One day the farmer went to work and the mom went crazy and ended up axing her children to death and then killed herself. The farmer didn't have enough money to have them buried in seperate graves so he decided to bury the children in one big grave and then the mom in her own. They are in unmarked graves in Rosedale Cemetery.

So, this cemetery is in the middle of no where, like, I'm talking like pitch dark in the middle of corn fields. There's these big black gates to the entrance and the graves are on the left. We didn't even look for the unmarked graves because when we pulled in there, there was such an eerie presence. Very creepy. I had my digital camera and I got out and took a pic towards the right of me. I wasn't really trying to take a picture of anything inparticular, and I couldn't really see much distance in front of me but I just kinda held it up and took the pic. The flash went off and when I seen what I had taken a picture of I was like "LETS GO!!!" In the picture there's these little circles of all different sizes and shades. We've determine these to be spirit orbs.

Here's a picture of the byron power plant(totally made me think of the simpsons) and the ones underneath are pics of a dam or whatever. it was on the way to Cambridge. I dunno exactly but it was like a park and it had this huge wooden porch thing that you can look off of. I'm proud of the picture, it's pretty.

Potties and pretty trees.

dude. We finally ate at Sonic. It was the bestest. I was so f'n happy when we finally found it.

Busy

I've been extremely busy with working a different shift this week. I'm in PDA training at work so I've been working 3:30 pm to midnight instead of 7:30 pm to 4:00 am. I haven't had time to post anything but I will as soon as I have time. ::waves::

lol. hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL60TcpoF4Q

Alive...

Muah!

Well. I'm finally able to actually get on the computer. I went to the ER on Tuesday and finally got out lastnight. Ectopic pregnancies are vicious so I've learned and experienced. I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend to take care of me through this. Thanks Ramon.

When I was in the hospital I learned that alot of people care about me. My dad and my mom came and visited me. My friend heather came and visited me. Ramon's brother and his mommy came to see me. My mommy came to visit me several times actually. It was really nice to have people there. Ramon stayed there for hours with me, and put up with me all drugged up and cranky. lol.

My tummy is turning purple but its better than losing any body parts. I lost a baby but things happen for reasons and there will be plenty of more chances. They tell me it's still possible in the future.My dad wants me to have a baby. He's going to baby sit all the time. I'm kinda sad this one didn't work out cuz I think he was kinda upset but I think he's more glad that his own baby's alive. :-D The first night when I was there, he was running around the ER like a lunatic. Gotta love dads.

I found out that another friend died today, this afternoon. Stupid heroin. Good people die that way. I've lost too many people to that drug. The only good thing that has come from it, is that I've learned that it's not worth it. I'd rather...

~ See my hamster drink from his water bottle, with his cute little paw holding onto it.

~ Have my boyfriend tell me I'm beautiful, even when I first wake up.

~ Getting kisses.

~ Eating bacon.

~ Eating more bacon. mmm.

~ Have a twin brother.

~ Have parents that are still alive and that love me.

~ Having a job that I earn a decent amount of money at.

~ Eating pixie stix like I was a kid.

~ Laugh until it hurts.

~ Go on a chocolate shake binge for a few weeks.

~ Having a best friend named Heather.

~ Make bracelets.

~ There's so much more I'd rather do but I'm getting kind of tired. Still weak.

Anyhow, It's me and my brother, Gary's birthday today. Well, for another 4 minutes. It'll be after midnight when I get these pictures on here. It's been a crazy birthday but it's still been a good one. Well... Here's a picture of the cake that Ramon made me. Keep in mind I just got out of the hospital lastnight. Here's some misc pics that I wanted to add on here. I haven't been online for a long time...

No, I'm not high in this picture, Ramon took me out to dinner for my birthday and this is also after surgery. God...that steak huuuurt later.

Celebrating the golden birthday...

Alright...so I'm turning 24 on October 24th. My best friend Heather organized this get-together for me at Nippon's. It was so fun! (thank you Heather!) The Kareoke machine was broken but it was still fun. (don't push the button!) lolololol.

*Buuuuuuuuuuuurp*

So, Ramon and I went to Sinnissippi Park today because I wanted to go for a walk. It's getting down to the last few day's of nice weather. We got there around 3:15 pm. Now, usually, if we go there, we don't get there until well after 4:00 pm. Well, I don't know if you've ever been there or not, but if you get there before 4:00 pm, you can go into the greenhouse area where they have turtles and huge fat fish and they even have parrots! (You have to go, dad!)

So I get there and I see a fat ass fish. Koi I think. My mommy bought me a stone with Koi on it not too long ago. Anyhow, I go to bust out my camera (I take it EVERYWHERE!) and I go to turn it on to take a picture and duuuude. I totally forgot to put the battery in it after charging it lastnight. GROWL. I was kinda mad. But alas, it was still a cool time.

I seen this white parrot and he was all bobbing his head when I bobbed my head and he repeats "pretty bird" if you say it to him. When we were walking away, he says "bye!) with a parrot accent of course. lol. It was awesome! I think I'll call him Rupert. lol.

I tried to find some pictures online of the green house but I couldn't find much. I only found a picture of how it's going to look when it's remodeled but it wouldn't upload. Ah well.

Some pictures... I love em.

Me and my boyfriend, Ramon. I love him. I love him gooood. :-D

This is my baby. He's a dwarf hamster. His name is Biscuit. he almost died a couple of weeks ago because he caught a disease called wet tail. He's fine now. I saved him. He's eating cheese in the picture. I fed him turkey today tho. He loves turkey...he loves it good. :-D

My Mom and her Daddy. They're soooo cute! I love the facial expression on my Grandpa! lol.



My Mommy brought my Grandma and Grandpa over to my house. I was having a bad hair day. (I love my Mommy!) I just need some pictures of my dad!

Here is me and my twin brother, Gary @ 23 years old.

I'm baaaaaaack!

Holy mother, they wouldn't let me blog for the longest time! Some stupid message about how it "looked" like a spam blog and someone had to review it. I dunno how that works out! lol. My dad said that it was because I said the F word.

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK. lol. ok.

So I have new pictures of the sky that I took. Here's one!

I carry my new camera with me everywhere because the best pictures come randomly. I was also doing laundry the other day with Ramon and we were on Auburn St. at the laundry mat (I HATE not having a washer and dryer of my own) and it was such a beautiful day out. There was a gigantic cemetery where I took some pictures too! I seen this GIGANTIC tombstone. Here's a picture. :-)

Peaceful...

I love cemeteries, they are so beautiful.

Dairy Queen saved the day!

Dude. So yesterday...I didn't do a whole lot but just sat around and watched tv and played on the computer and created this here most awesomeness blog... I waited for Ramon to come home at 2 am. I made him dinner. It was this hamburger helper taco thing. It was pretty good. Well, after we ate, we watched some tv and I got a craving for a chocolate shake. It was unstoppable. it was about 3:58 in the morning and we went on a mission for a shake. The only place that we knew that would be open was Steak n Shake. We got in the car and drove all the way there to find that it was closed.

What the fuck?

Everyone knows that Steak n Shake is open 24 hours... the one damn time that I want something at 4 in the morning and relied on this place to fulfill my hopes and dreams, it lets me down! Crushed. Forgiveness will never be given.

On the way back home after this traumatizing event, we tried driving past a couple places that we thought might have shakes...but McDonalds only has breakfast at that time and no shakes and Uncle Nicks was closed. I went home empty handed. Ramon was nice enough to drive me around town on the mission (thanks baby) but alas I went to bed shakeless. lol.

I woke up this morning and we finally got our xbox 360 elite back and its fixed and ready to play. We went to dairy queen and got me a shake, Ramon got a punkin pie blizzard and we got a couple double cheese burgers. 2 for $3.33. They were pretty good but you know what? my shake was f'n delicious. I love chocolate shakes. I love them good.

Pretty pictures...

The sky is so beautiful in the fall...

(Ramon helped me take a couple :-D)

This one was taken at work.

This was before work taken in an Arby's parking lot.

Same one different picture.

My favorite.